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Bachelor Parties: Who Are They Really Planned For?

February 15th, 2010 Posted in Planning

A Scapegoat Grooms Speaks Out

Ah, the bachelor party – a time for beers, boys, and presumably, breasts. For hundreds of years, this raucous ritual has been branded as the bridegroom’s last hurrah, his final night of freedom with his friends. Just as the majority of the wedding will be “for the bride,” this day marks the groom’s moment to be doted upon, to be plied with drinks and nearly seduced by strippers. Clearly, this sometimes-wild soiree is coordinated entirely to gratify the guest of honor. Or is it? Read on for one bachelor’s revealing opinion about who the bachelor party is really planned for – i.e., his “boys.”

Bachelor Party

Bachelor Party

In the late spring of 2009, James Foster, 33, of Denver, Colorado had the great distinction of being the guest of honor at h his own bachelor party. Having been a best man twice himself, James was already somewhat familiar with the night’s normal format, and was thus looking forward to the debauchery that was doubtless in his future. A big fan of the 1940’s and 1950’s, James was captivated by the concept of the “Rat Pack” bachelor party that was being planned by his friends. The evening would begin with a scrumptious steak dinner prepared by one of his groomsmen, then progress to drinks at a local tavern. It was at this point in the evening though, that all of James’ jolly preconceptions about the event would change. Forced by his friends to remove his crooner-style suit jacket, James was then required to don a black bow tie and a ripped button-down. Clad now as a cheap imitation of a Chippendale dancer, his buddies demanded that he collect the signature of every single lady in the locale. For James, a relatively reserved guy who had long since abandoned his need for attention, the task was terribly awkward, and one that left him with the lingering question, “Whose party is this, anyway?”

For days after the deed was done, James continued to ponder this thought, and to evaluate his real role in the evening’s proceedings. He reflected on all of the bachelor parties he had both attended and thrown, and how he too had tormented the man of the hour. Soon, a revelation struck him. At each event, James noted, the bachelor had become the buffoon, made to perform mortifying feats such as downing a dozen consecutive shots or suffering through an agonizingly public lap dance. And to what end – his enjoyment? Possibly, but more probably, for the amusement of those attending. For them, this was just a good guys’ night out, complete with their own personal public spectacle. It was a viable excuse for them to be a little wild, to live vicariously for a couple of hours, and of course, to have a good chuckle at the groom’s expense. This epiphany led James to exclaim, “The bachelor party isn’t for the groom. It’s for the groom’s friends!”

So brides, take heart – your husband-to-be’s big night out may leave him feeling less like a single stud and more like a fool for your love. All bachelors though, beware! An embarrassing public experience is likely looming in your future too, and your best buddies are sure to be the culprits.

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